14 Mar 2017 by

A COWES man was rushed to St Mary’s in ‘unfortunate circumstances’ this evening, according to reports. Hospital spokesperson, Dr. Hugh G. Rection, said that the man, whose identity is as yet unknown, had planned to enjoy ‘Steak and Blowjob Day‘, however was not to be undaunted by a lack of girlfriend, or wife. After cooking himself what he claimed was ‘the best fucking steak ever’ he attempted to reward himself with the latter part of the days celebration. Due to the almost impossible nature of the exercise he was attempting, Dr. Rection stated that the man had taken muscle relaxants, Viagra, and also ...


FREE child micro-chipping will be available for genuine Isle of Wight parents next week, thanks to a new partnership between Island Police, Apple Computers, and U2.
A series of events have …


9 Jan 2015 by

A large vehicle container ship fell over in the Solent last night, and is currently parked like a BMW in a disabled bay on the Bramble Bank.
The incident sparked a major …


4 Jan 2015 by
Mario & Luigi

ISLAND Police investigating a break in at an Amusement park on Tuesday have released a photograph of two suspects (pictured) they would like to question in connection with the crime.
The …


13 Apr 2013 by
Island Mourning

SCENES of shock and quiet grief filled the pot-holed streets of the Island today, as news of the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, finally reached us.
In keeping with the …


8 Apr 2013 by
Police Leisure Break

NEW traffic plans recently unveiled by the Isle of Wight Council have been derided by locals as nothing more than a face saving exercise for the Island Police.
With towns in decline as …


7 Apr 2013 by