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9 Oct 2012 by | 2 Comments
Ryde Tesco

The Candy Press has secured a world exclusive interview with the leader of the ‘Cull Unitarians, Not The Socialists’ group, formed to protest against David Pugh’s proposed Socialist cull as reported a few weeks ago. Speaking from their top secret headquarters inside the recycling bins at Tesco, Ryde, Humphrey Beardsome told ...

29 Sep 2012 by | 5 Comments
Reading Festival

Island residents are becoming excited at the prospect of two big firsts in October. Lovers of the written word tremble in anticipation at the first literary festival at be held from 12th to the 14th. Ever an Island for equal opportunities / milking every opportunity, there is also the first ...

27 Sep 2012 by | 37 Comments
Earthquake Survivors

The Candy Press has received reports of a devastating earthquake in East Cowes early this morning. Residents were found wandering amongst the rubble, confused and frightened. 20 year old mother of 5, known only as Tracey, told our reporter; “I didn’t know what was happening. The bed was shaking, I thought ...